[there's fluster but some arousal mixed in at the nuzzling, and he gradually unclenches enough to drape his arms fully around Curtain's shoulders. His face stays hidden but his posture sinks into something more comfortable.
Various emotions skitter around, fondness, surprise, wry humor, maybe a small bit of sorrow. He seems to be Thinking About A Lot again.]
[very low-key concern and curiosity, but really, this is just business as usual, so he tries to focus on what's actually being said instead of the other million emotions that Jae contains.
also wrapping his other arm around him, then nuzzling his ear a bit again]
Well, if it ever becomes inconvenient, just let me know. It can be undone, right?
[it turns out that seeing an attempt at comfort is actually effective also feels really nice, so there's more fondness and a quiet sort of satisfaction from him.]
[that's getting looped right back at him because of his own objective. his soul was like 90% intact anyway so this just fills up the metaphorical gauge to the top. a light squeeze with his arms as that happens... I guess this is kind of cuddling now?]
...throughout most of my story, I was rarely in the same place as my incarnation. Especially after I became a constellation. So it actually came up not too often.
[he does pause over what to do with the ribbon, and then just drapes it over one of curtain's shoulders for the moment so that he can run his fingers through the hair in a low and methodical way. It actually reminds him quite a bit of managing the feather Curtain no longer has, so it's a bit soothing.]
[his hair is in fact very soft and well-cared for, a man doesn't choose to grow his hair this long just to neglect it. the gesture is also soothing for him, a little bit nostalgic, but he's definitely enjoying it]
...to be honest, I'm not sure I really understood at that time, what the issue was...
[faintly abashed? but also kind of accepting. hair pet hair pet]
I guess I would say it was more that I was a frustrating person for being unable to answer the things Appointment with Death under a Curtain wanted the answers to.
[it is good that feeling is there because there is a lowkey somewhat 'cornered animal' sensation from this topic even being brought up. It's not the only feeling, he still also feels secure and comfortable and wry and maybe a little pessimistic and a little tired but also overall content. as we know, jae contains MULTITUDES of feelings.
Anyway he dwells on it for several moments, picking his words carefully, even though he can tell that they are still sort of 'not correct' as he says them.]
...Appointment with Death under a Curtain is someone who seems 'extremely considerate' to me. Comparatively, I think I'm 'extremely inconsiderate'. ...This is probably true about me whether they are my emotions or someone else's.
[yeah, this feelings cocktail is kind of a lot and he needs to make an active effort to focus on the words that are actually being said vs. Every Feeling Ever.]
Yes. But you'd prefer it if I wasn't "extremely considerate" towards you or your feelings, right?
[quiet, also thinking about that, with both some understanding and sadness]
I care about your story, though. And I'd like to keep hearing more about it, from you. But I don't want you to feel obligated to share anything you don't feel like.
If we were two normal people with a normal relationship, I would have no way of knowing your feelings or your thoughts... so I wouldn't even be able to ask about them.
Because of that... I don't want to ask anymore.
[aaaand there goes his emotional honesty objective again, another wave of comfort and reassurance]
Re: [Evening, Day 5]
And this is a little like that, I think.
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Various emotions skitter around, fondness, surprise, wry humor, maybe a small bit of sorrow. He seems to be Thinking About A Lot again.]
I wasn't expecting it.
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also wrapping his other arm around him, then nuzzling his ear a bit again]
Well, if it ever becomes inconvenient, just let me know. It can be undone, right?
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Only if you want.
...I could also probably temporarily um... 'deafen'...? Lock down? Prevent the emotions from coming and going.
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I'll leave it up to you, in that case.
[catches his earlobe between his lips to kiss it]
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I think...
[The kiss to his earlobe gets an embarrassed warm flush.]
...It's quite helpful in this kind of situation...? Even if maybe it's a bit embarrassing too.
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It's fun...
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though he is somewhat idly reaching up into Curtain's hair, finding the hair tie and slowly working it out with a bit of lazy curiosity]
I'm glad you think so, since I forgot about this effect a bit...
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I'm surprised you'd forget about something like this.
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[he does pause over what to do with the ribbon, and then just drapes it over one of curtain's shoulders for the moment so that he can run his fingers through the hair in a low and methodical way. It actually reminds him quite a bit of managing the feather Curtain no longer has, so it's a bit soothing.]
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Good thing we already had experience with it.
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[Wry, more than anything.]
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[mild confusion and curiosity]
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[faintly abashed? but also kind of accepting. hair pet hair pet]
I guess I would say it was more that I was a frustrating person for being unable to answer the things Appointment with Death under a Curtain wanted the answers to.
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[a quiet gentle warmth from Curtain's objective begins seeping through their bond, it feels a little like reassurance.]
1/2
Anyway he dwells on it for several moments, picking his words carefully, even though he can tell that they are still sort of 'not correct' as he says them.]
...Appointment with Death under a Curtain is someone who seems 'extremely considerate' to me. Comparatively, I think I'm 'extremely inconsiderate'. ...This is probably true about me whether they are my emotions or someone else's.
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Yes. But you'd prefer it if I wasn't "extremely considerate" towards you or your feelings, right?
[it's an honest question, no bite to it]
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[a longer time, dissecting these thoughts. there is some embarrassment but he is TRULY TRYING.]
...I like Curtain as he is, so that feels like the wrong idea to me.
However, if you want to know 'why did you feel this in that moment' or something similar... it's difficult to answer?
Someone once told me that I'm bad at telling my own story and I think it's like that. It's a little embarrassing but I am only a 'reader' after all.
1/2
I care about your story, though. And I'd like to keep hearing more about it, from you. But I don't want you to feel obligated to share anything you don't feel like.
If we were two normal people with a normal relationship, I would have no way of knowing your feelings or your thoughts... so I wouldn't even be able to ask about them.
Because of that... I don't want to ask anymore.
[aaaand there goes his emotional honesty objective again, another wave of comfort and reassurance]
Re: [Evening, Day 5]
grumbles]
Ugh.
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If we were two normal people with a normal relationship, would there be a relationship at all, though?
Re: [Evening, Day 5]
Why not? Maybe. Though we would've met under very different circumstances.
[he moves to gently push Jae back a little, not entirely off his lap, but just enough for Curtain to have enough room to start taking off his coat]
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done
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